Brotherly love

I feel bad when my mom sometimes makes comments that my brother and I are not as close as when we were young. I can feel her disappointment, yet helpless to repair our relationship. I wish we can be good friends who hang out, share feelings and thoughts just like the other siblings; especially we are only 2 years apart. We grew up together, went to the same schools, and had the same group of friends back then, yet we are so different from each other; I’m not sure since when, I seem to have a very hard time to find a topic to talk to him about. I honestly have tried hard to rebuild our relationship until Haley came in my life and I have given her 100% of attention. What irritates me the most is my mom always blames on me for our broken relationship. She kept saying that I never appreciated my brother’s care, and gave him attitude all the time. Truthfully, I dig deep to find memories of those special moments between my brother and myself. The only thing that I really find is that he would always give me his spending money with no question asked when we were little while he was reluctant to spend it on video games for himself. Other than that, there are endless incidents that I feel no love from him. He used to not include me with the neighborhood friends when we still lived in Kowloon. We invited our own friends to our first and only birthday party that was held at our home in Shatin, he let his junior high classmate teased me without standing on my side. He never comfort with words while I was crying day and night when we first came to the States. I asked him for a ride to pick me up from the BART station at eight at night, and he refused with a reason that he has to sleep, so I have to walk 15 minutes home in the dark. My mom complains that everything happened the way it is because of my bad attitude. Well, how can I not piss off while he is always an hour late to our gatherings. Should I still thank him for at least showing up and praise him for his presence? I love my brother and I care for him, but the fire will die when he keeps pouring cold water over and over again. Of course my mom is speechless every time I responds to her accuse, yet I know her every intention is to help. I wonder if she ever give the same talk to my bro.