Since 2002, I walked in to BACBC for Sunday worship, it's been 9 years I am on & off coming in & out to this church without getting to know anyone. I'm never a shy person when coming to meet new friends, but I am very nervous and I have to admit that I have struggles to connect with friends in Christ. I tend to put a higher standard on Christians and expect them to be more noble in every ways. I am afraid that I will get disappointed when any problem occurs in the future. I have prayed about it and I have decided to step out of my box and would like to get fellowship with other brothers and sisters. God gave me strength and He spoke to me through a lesson from book of "The Purpose-Driven Life", and a sermon from Pastor Yue. God reminds me that it is easier to be high spiritually when nothing interfere you, but this spiritual state is not real and cannot stand to be tested. We may think we are mature spiritually when there's no challenge, but the real mature can only be revealed through relationship with others. Other than studying the bible, we need other Christians in our life. We need to learn from each other in order to grow stronger and faster.
Owen and I attended our first Home Team gathering last Sunday after worship. It is a group of people who are married with little kids like us. I feel uncomfortable a little bit because of my inner struggle, but I try to open up and speak to others to break the ice. It was not as hard as I expected, but I will give some time to adapt to the fellowship life again.
God, please make me UNDERSTAND and REMEMBER that Christian is just a normal human beings who will sin. Make me a Christian who will accept others' good AND bad, just as how others accept mine. Amen.
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