Haley's independent thought

Haley is driving me crazy lately with her strong will on everything. Every little thing like getting dress, brushing teeth or taking shower can become a chaotic scene everyday. It is so hard to manage my own temper when she tempts to say NO to every thing you ask her to do. I know this is her stage of fighting to gain control and authority, but it is just so challenging to stay cool. NO BREAKFAST, NO LUNCH, NO DINNER = NO SNACKS! This is a new written rule I posted on our refrigerator. I am sick of getting upset when Haley is not finishing her meal. A mom recommended to write the rule on a big piece of paper so Haley sees it as a reminder. Instead of repeating myself over and over again to ask her to finish her meal, I just give her a friendly reminder that she will not be having any snacks if her meal is not finished. Haley quickly adapted to the new rule, she will just tell me she doesn't want any snack when she doesn't want to eat her meal. She will then come back to her meal when she wants a snack. Sometimes this may mean breakfast at 10:30 instead of 8, lunch at 2:30 instead of 12:30, dinner at 8:30 instead of 7, but at least we have one battle less between us. Persistancy is the key! I need to follow through with my rules. Yet I really need to control my own temper, so Haley will always remember me as a loving mom, not a tiger mom in her childhood. SIGH!